Feasting Faux Pas

Welcome to Lydia Ramsey’s monthly newsletter. Each month we send you tips that focus on current business etiquette concerns. Our tips are designed to be timely and to help you master the details that open doors and close deals.

December 2011

Feasting Faux Pas to Avoid at the Holiday Table

Holiday Feast This is the time of the year when my cup of business etiquette tips runneth over. There are too many timely topics to cover in a single newsletter. That is one reason why I gathered my holiday etiquette tips together in November and published them in an eBook titled Being the Polished Professional Throughout the Holidays –The Complete Guide to Etiquette and Protocol During the Holiday Season. This simple guide to appropriate behavior covers everything from sending out greeting cards to tipping the babysitter. Having published the guide, I was left pondering what topic to tackle in my December newsletter. Real life provided me with material.

The event that led me to write about the holiday meal was a Thanksgiving dinner that I attended with friends. I observed behavior that in some cases was appalling, in others it was simply thoughtless, and in a few it was just plain ignorant. My friends, by the way, had impeccable manners, but a number of their guests did not share their graces.

One of the guests balanced his cell phone on his thigh—in plain view I might add–during the entire meal. It was blatantly obvious that he was not engaged or interested in the people and conversation around him. Another individual arrived not only late, but also with cut flowers in hand for the frantic hostess. A third invitee rushed to be first in line for the buffet and piled his plate so high that it was doubtful if there would be anything left for the patient last. It was difficult, if not impossible, to ignore these mealtime misdemeanors committed by well-educated experienced professionals. It was hard to tell if the real turkey was on the serving platter or seated at the table.

In an effort to keep you and others to whom you might choose to share this newsletter from committing these feasting faux pas, I have compiled a list of “don’ts” so that you will be sure to position yourself with polish and professionalism at the holiday meal, whether it is a business function or a family get-together.

Don’t arrive late. The host or hostess who has prepared or planned this meal has a timeline to follow. A few dishes can be ruined when the meal is delayed. Your tardy arrival tells your host and others that this occasion was not high on your list of priorities.

Don’t arrive with a bouquet of cut flowers. It seems like a nice thought, but it requires that the hostess, who is trying to greet guests, check on the food and tend to all the last minute details of serving a delicious meal, has to stop whatever she is doing, find a vase, arrange the flowers and then position them appropriately. Chances are she already has a centerpiece for the table as well as other decorations. Send the flowers the next day as a thank you or select another gift.

Don’t come to the table with your cell phone. IF you do, turn it off. If you can’t get through the meal without checking email and voice mail, stay home. Your actions say that you are not present anyway and are downright insulting to everyone else.

Don’t heap your plate to overflowing when going through the buffet line. To begin with it makes you look like a pig. While there is usually more than enough food for all, things do happen and the last person through the line could find themselves staring at empty serving dishes or scraping out the few crusted remains.

Don’t use your napkin for anything except to blot your mouth. This is cold and flu season. If you have a cold, bring your own handkerchief or a good supply of tissues.

Don’t start eating or touch anything at our place setting until your host has had time to welcome everyone or ask the blessing. That includes not taking the napkin off the table or taking a sip of wine or water.

Don’t use the boarding house reach. If you want something that is beyond your grasp, ask the person closest to it to pass it.

Don’t ask for any condiments that are not on the table or being served with the meal. That includes salt and pepper. By asking for additional sauces or spices, you are implying that the host did not season the food properly. Eat it as prepared.

Don’t leave the table until everyone else has finished eating and the host rises. To my utter amazement at this memorable occasion, I witnessed a dinner guest get up from the table and settle himself in a chair in another part of the room. Can you guess who it was? I am sure you know. It was the very same person who kept his cell phone in plain view during the meal.

My best advice for dodging dining disasters is to brush up on your table manners before you head out. If you are not willing to be the polite, engaged and engaging guest, stay home or go out alone.

Happy Holidays to all!

Lydia

: Order Now and Access the Book Immediately!

Special Holiday Offer

Feasting faux pas are not the only missteps you risk committing while celebrating the holidays. If you want to be confident that every move you make during this special time of year is one that positions you as the polished professional, I invite you to read my newest publication, Being the Polished Professional Throughout the Holidays –The Complete Guide to Etiquette and Protocol During the Holiday Season.

This easy-to read booklet on holiday business etiquette is designed to guide you through the protocol of sending out greeting cards, following the rules of conduct at the office party, hosting holiday meals with grace and good manners, selecting and presenting appropriate business gifts, and finally showing your appreciation with personal thank you’s. This booklet is available as a digital download for only $9.95 and can be yours within seconds.

Order Now and Access the Digital Edition Immediately!

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About Lydia Ramsey

Lydia Ramsey is a Savannah-based business etiquette expert, executive etiquette coach, professional speaker and author of Manners That Sell™, offering keynotes and seminars to corporations, associations, colleges and universities. Learn more about Lydia, or call here at 912-598-9812. If you have clients or colleagues who might enjoy this business etiquette newsletter, please feel free to forward it to them and let them know they can register at the link below to get their very own copy!